i think, this is me...

good evening peeps!
woah~
see my blog?
nice and warm background... =D
im trying to protect my reader's eyes.
make it a comfortable and amazing blog so that people might come back and visit me again!
miahaha!
3rd bro was touchdown to his hometown 2 days before!
and we had our "great" & "motivation" talk last night.
obviously,
he have no idea with how was my personality and my characteristic are...
haha!
he told me,
"i shouldn't judge anything before i understand or clarify all the things"
but seems like he never learn this himself.
i mean,
yes....
-maybe i'm impetuously,
-low EQ
-impatient,
but doesn't means that it would affect what i'm going to do or what i plan to do.
he is asking me instead of stay at home, why don't i find myself a job.
ok,
before he understand my situation,
i think  he might consider that i don't want to work and prefer to sit at home

-> who provide me a transport while our hometown public transport is like sh*t?
-> i got a motorbike license, but my dad said he don't think so is a good idea, what should i do? *honda cup 60*
-> 2nd bro got the other car which he seldom use, but how if he want to go out unexpectedly?
-> car pool with mom, of course is not a problem for me, but the problem is, you expect our working time is same with each other?
 "think twice before you want to speak out"
but why doesn't you make sense?
"a problem will have thousand solution" *i don't know who's the hell invented this to encourage people, but imma kill you or else you help me to solve my problem! give me or suggest me your so called thousand solution!*
darn it~~~!
im tension than anyone of you!
who's going to help me out if im really in a big trouble???
*seriously, you know, i know, who is the real friends, and who is not!"
for some of my friends,
to you im really downhearted...
thats all i can said...
to my bro,
before you judge me,
why don't you spend some time to understand me?
i don't know since when there is a gap between you and me.
i thought you should be the one who know me more?
maybe you're in heaven, but im in hell...
is that the different?
you against me...
-my friends
-my thought
-my behavior
-my words
-everything of mine!
you judged me by my outward behavior,
you never goes deep into my heart!
i asked you a question,
and you answered me "em",
i said "you should ask more!"
you said "what is your objective to ask me this question??"
i said "my objective is, i want you to ask me more!"
you said "i said em already, is not a compulsory that i have to ask you back any question!"
i said "alright, i just want you to talk more, and if you refused, im ok...cause you're the one who end this conversation"
see....how sad is it...
no,
should be how hurt is it?
is so coldhearted~!
thats the reason why i asked myself,
since when is the gap between us start to expand?
answer me please~!
or am i a nasty witch thats why you against me?

"Remember to love yourself than anyone do, no one will understand you other than yourself, even parent also there's a limit for them to know us more, give yourself a hug if people is blaming you! tell your heart that's always the one and only will support you always, which is [yourself] " by: Veeky










p/s: -you will never know how much i love this family, just that my hyperactive character shows like i don't care, so you think that i don't really care. Whatever, that's me, no explanation...cause is not necessary at all...
     - if you could check my online history, see how many times i visit to jobstreet  per day, use your eyes to see when everytime the newspapers is here and im hurry to look out for the vacancy part...before you said i never try my best to find the thousand ways to solve my only problem, please filter your harsh words!

*END*